ev´thing

I would do everything.
I just wanna say this.

Mozart festival

I forgot the Mozart festival. That big event in Würzburg, being held from end of may till july. I always wanted to have a ticket and not only stand outside of the garden of the residence. But I´m afraid, this year it´s again too late. I´d like to go with my brother, but he doesn´t live here. And I only know one other person, who´d enjoy joining the festival and listening to Mozarts "Nachtmusik", who´d enjoy this special atmosphere. But that person is not here. Maybe I should ask and with big luck...huge luck...

über die Wichtigkeit, sich selbst nicht zu wichtig zu nehmen

Menschen tendieren dazu, sich zu überschätzen. Allgemein und in jeder Hinsicht. Sie überschätzen sich selbst, wenn sie ToDo-Listen schreiben und nie eine komplett abhacken. Und sie überschätzen sich, wenn es um die Wichtigkeit ihrer Probleme geht.
Heute hatte ich ein eher kurzes, aber typisches Gespräch mit einer Bekannten. Ich erwähnte, dass ich das Sommersemester genieße, aber dennoch schon immer der Ansicht war, dass es zu viele Feiertage in eben diesem gäbe. Da kommt man ja kaum zum Studieren! Und ständig fallen Donnerstage und Montage aus. Da starrte sie mich an und meinte: sei doch froh! Ich wiederum: aber so kommt man ja zu nichts! und sie: Also ich habe genug zu tun! Himmel, da war es genug, und ich habe endlich einmal ausgesprochen, was ich schon immer mal sagen wollte: Wir haben alle zu tun, überschätz´dich nicht!
Genau so ist es auch. Sie ist ein normales Mädchen. Geht in die Uni, wenn sie muss und arbeitet, um sich das zu finanzieren. Aber das tun wir alle. Und dennoch sind wir doch vom Glück verfolgt! Es wird uns viel zu selten deutlich gemacht, dass wir all dies tun, weil wir uns dafür entschieden haben und nicht, weil man uns dazu gezwungen hat. Und dass wir arbeiten - nun, das ist eben Deutschland, wo man sich als Student schämen muss, wenn man das nicht tut. Irgendwie ist es ja auch ganz nett, Verantwortung zu übernehmen und neben dem Studium schon sein eigenes Geld zu verdienen.
Ich bin mir jedenfalls sicher, dass ich diese Zeit unglaublich vermissen werde. Wann ist man derart frei? derart ungebunden? derart reich an Wissen und Hingabe?
Ich würde nicht sagen: Vergiss Flecken, vertrau Pink! sondern: Nimm Dich nicht so ernst, vertrau Dir!

in love with a fairytale

this is not fun anymore. at least not for me. i can not believe, that after an emotional and depressing discussion like that one tonight, everybody leaves the room a la "uuuuuuh, you´ve had your date with that cute guy yesterday, right?"/"what are we doing on saturday?". if you would be there, you´d understand me. maybe you´re the only one, who´d understand me. actually i´d love to cry just because of the fact, that i´m alone with my opinion and that idealism. i´ve the feeling, that everyone just lives their normal lifes and i´m in love with a fairytale.

Spruch des Tages

"Wer das Schlimmste sieht, ist nie enttäuscht."

no title today.

Once I decided, that being thankful is a big part of my life.
Here are the THANK YOUs for today:
Thanks for surviving class while being weak and sweating.
Thanks for avoiding coffee, althought having had a terrible night.
Thanks for a quiet appartment tonight.
Thanks for having enough candles instead of light.
Thanks for earplugs.
Thanks for those things being reliable!!!

Tuesdays in summer

7:00 getting up
7:52 bus to university
8:30 - 10:00 first lesson. language course.
10:04 bus back to the city
10:22 bying a salad in the supermarket
10:30 at home
10:30 - 11:30 trying to eat as much as I can in order to not be hungry for a long time. Reading the new chapters for International Marketing once again. Gathering information about the Indian market.
11:30 leaving for class
12:00 c.t. - 14:00 second lesson of the day. International Marketing.
14:00 - 14:45, 15:00 - 15:45 third and fourth class. Personal & Organisation (this one german) incl. tutorial.
16:00 c.t. - 18:00 fifth class. Gobalization and global economics.
(actually beginning at 17:15, for me at about) 18:00 sixth class. Central Asia - Intercultural Communication - 19:30
19:45 at home. a salad. earplugs. reading and interpreting a Gorkij essay/book/text for Wednesday. Reading the scripts and the Case Studies for Thursdays Innovation Management. Studying vocabulary and more or less thinking about how to write my thesis.
... bed.

DANKE

I´LL LOVE ANY OTHER SURPRISE, FOREVER.
(thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks.)
...and never forget may the 4th.

ANGST

I´m scared.
I´m really scared.
Or am I afraid?
Maybe afraid is a better word,
however english doesn´t express
the german "Angst",
as it is a word of pure fear.
I´m afraid,
as if it was me.
And when it´s fact,
then it is at least 20%,
that it´s related to me as well.
Life is weird.
And full of surprises.
If you help us surviving
the next hour,
I swear,
I´ll love any other surprise,
forever.
Help, we need somebody.

The Best

I had a wonderful night yesterday. We´ve been to a new bar and it was great fun. The wine was good and the atmosphere impressing. I learned again, that being happy is related to a moment, not to an eternal situation. And I´m thankful to be reminded. Also because memories are good now, they´re really good. And that´s what I´ve always longed for. Probably this thought made the evening wonderful and unique.
I love the city and the guys. I don´t know, what to do without them; losing AGAIN people, you love, is part of the game, but not part of my personal happiness. Making the best of now.