in love with a fairytale

this is not fun anymore. at least not for me. i can not believe, that after an emotional and depressing discussion like that one tonight, everybody leaves the room a la "uuuuuuh, you´ve had your date with that cute guy yesterday, right?"/"what are we doing on saturday?". if you would be there, you´d understand me. maybe you´re the only one, who´d understand me. actually i´d love to cry just because of the fact, that i´m alone with my opinion and that idealism. i´ve the feeling, that everyone just lives their normal lifes and i´m in love with a fairytale.

Spruch des Tages

"Wer das Schlimmste sieht, ist nie enttäuscht."

no title today.

Once I decided, that being thankful is a big part of my life.
Here are the THANK YOUs for today:
Thanks for surviving class while being weak and sweating.
Thanks for avoiding coffee, althought having had a terrible night.
Thanks for a quiet appartment tonight.
Thanks for having enough candles instead of light.
Thanks for earplugs.
Thanks for those things being reliable!!!

Tuesdays in summer

7:00 getting up
7:52 bus to university
8:30 - 10:00 first lesson. language course.
10:04 bus back to the city
10:22 bying a salad in the supermarket
10:30 at home
10:30 - 11:30 trying to eat as much as I can in order to not be hungry for a long time. Reading the new chapters for International Marketing once again. Gathering information about the Indian market.
11:30 leaving for class
12:00 c.t. - 14:00 second lesson of the day. International Marketing.
14:00 - 14:45, 15:00 - 15:45 third and fourth class. Personal & Organisation (this one german) incl. tutorial.
16:00 c.t. - 18:00 fifth class. Gobalization and global economics.
(actually beginning at 17:15, for me at about) 18:00 sixth class. Central Asia - Intercultural Communication - 19:30
19:45 at home. a salad. earplugs. reading and interpreting a Gorkij essay/book/text for Wednesday. Reading the scripts and the Case Studies for Thursdays Innovation Management. Studying vocabulary and more or less thinking about how to write my thesis.
... bed.

DANKE

I´LL LOVE ANY OTHER SURPRISE, FOREVER.
(thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks.)
...and never forget may the 4th.

ANGST

I´m scared.
I´m really scared.
Or am I afraid?
Maybe afraid is a better word,
however english doesn´t express
the german "Angst",
as it is a word of pure fear.
I´m afraid,
as if it was me.
And when it´s fact,
then it is at least 20%,
that it´s related to me as well.
Life is weird.
And full of surprises.
If you help us surviving
the next hour,
I swear,
I´ll love any other surprise,
forever.
Help, we need somebody.

The Best

I had a wonderful night yesterday. We´ve been to a new bar and it was great fun. The wine was good and the atmosphere impressing. I learned again, that being happy is related to a moment, not to an eternal situation. And I´m thankful to be reminded. Also because memories are good now, they´re really good. And that´s what I´ve always longed for. Probably this thought made the evening wonderful and unique.
I love the city and the guys. I don´t know, what to do without them; losing AGAIN people, you love, is part of the game, but not part of my personal happiness. Making the best of now.